Days 43 thru 48. Where are we now?

Answer: I have no idea.

The days continue to blend together. In the last week, total number of cover letters redrafted: three. Resumes revised: five. Jobs researched: seven. Jobs applied for: two. Interviews scheduled: Zero.

These days I do a lot of lying under the covers with a heating pad. I turn the heating pad on high and lay it across my chest then tuck my hands underneath. Sometimes I fall asleep; sometimes I watch the sunlight move across the thicket of pine trees outside my window. Some days the tree limbs are blowing up and down and side to side. Lately it has been looking too cold and uninviting to go out there. So I just watch from under the heated layers of the futon.

Two months remain of my unemployment benefits. Then I’m not sure what I will do.

What does anyone do when they’ve lost their job and with it a steady income and decent benefits? Do they start selling off their possessions? I do not own many things. I have about 7k remaining in car payments, not too bad. But I do not own a house or any land. Not much to sell.

On the local Facebook Garage Sale group people are selling their old shoes and bike helmets. Five or twenty dollars in cash is not going to help me much. I scroll through the endless posts of items for sale—make an offer!—photos of slightly used items taken in dimly lit living rooms. I feel sad for the person offering up their possessions on social media; I feel bad for the item being sold: discarded and no longer of use and unwanted. Insignificant and offered for so little money. How desperate have we all become?


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