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Panic sets in today.
Yesterday I moved the last of my savings to my checking account. If I don’t find a side job that pays cash or sell something or swallow my pride and ask a loved one for a loan, I will be out of money in approximately 28 days.
I refuse to accumulate any more debt on a credit card. I simply refuse.
This is a hard lesson. But one I needed to learn.
There will be a day when I will be debt free. There will be a day when being unemployed will not mean being on the brink. There will be a day when I am free.
There will be a day when I will conduct all transactions in cash: I will pay for my food in cash, I will walk into the gas station and prepay for my gasoline in cash, I will have my monthly internet and health insurance direct debited from my checking account. I will pick up pennies off the street and collect them in a jar and when the jar is overflowing with pilgrim pennies I will pour them out in a mountainous pile on the counter top and slide it over for deposit into my savings account. I will no longer take for granted purchasing items over the internet. UPS will no longer stack boxes by my front door. Kitchen utensils will no longer line my junk drawer. Clothes with neon sale tags will no longer clutter up the guest room. Piles of boots and shoes will no longer collect dust at the bottom of darkened closets.
I refuse to consume for the sake of consuming, anymore. I refuse.
There will be a day when I am free. This is not the end. This is the beginning.