With the northeast in a deep freeze, I can say that the view from here looks surprisingly optimistic. Lots of walking with the dog down the dirt road now packed thick with ice and snow. The dog gets me outside. The dog gets me moving. The dog likes to run up and down the road. Into the woods. Over the snow banks and the buried logs and the stumps and around the frozen waterways. He loves to go. And I love to watch him go.
I’m worried about JC though. He’s eating more than ever, and ever, and ever. And I watch him eat. I watch him take such large mouthfuls and I wonder what it is that he is trying to feed. What part of him is so hungry. Worried that somehow I am the cause. I want to help him. I want to help us. But I do not know how. So maybe the outlook is not so good, but it is. The sky is blue and the ground is sparkling with crisp white crunchy snow; all the leaves have fallen and the trees stand tall against the frozen landscape. I watch the dog run over and through and around it all and I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time. Maybe I can bring JC with me. I will try.